A model of marriage must be created for women that do not polarize the two genders into conventional roles, regardless of who works outside the home. Masculine and feminine ideals of power must become blended, and the very notion of what constitutes masculinity and femininity must be questioned, otherwise the idea if a 'real woman' or a 'real man' makes a better leader will forever render the debate schematic and unnecessarily polarized in American culture.

Question

What do you think are the main sources of homophobia in American culture? What is the situation today regarding homophobia, and what do you predict for the future -- and when?

Is it the idealization of the 'John Wayne' cowboy stereotype of masculinity that makes homophobic such an intransigent part of American culture? On one hand, gay people have made considerable encroachments into the American mass media and culture. Ellen hosts the Oscars; Rosie hosts "The View." "Will and Grace" depicting the relationship between a woman and her best friend, a gay man, was a popular sitcom for many years. But the right of gay people to marry still remains an open question in many states, and homophobia remains a rallying cry for many conservatives.

Far beyond the reality of gay people's lives, homophobia is a symbolically central part of American political life, defining where one stands on the issue defines one's liberalism or conservatism. Regardless of what real gay people do, the issue transcends the reality of most gay people's lives. Perhaps this is because sexuality is such a potent source of self-definition in American life. Even though Americans value their privacy, they also define themselves by their sexual values and practices, just as they do by their race, religion, occupation, and social...

Who one sleeps with becomes synonymous with who one is -- whether one is John Wayne type of man or a 'meterosexual.' The idea that a man can be like a gay man yet still sleep with women, so long as he grooms himself 'like' a gay man, as denoted by the term 'metrosexual,' hints that sexuality is not about the physical act, but the commercial trappings and the notions of selfhood that surround the act.
Perhaps homophobia is so difficult to eradicate in America because personal self-definition is such an integral part of American culture. This cannot be healed with any number of sitcoms, or "Queer Eyes for the Straight Guy." In fact, such positive but stereotypical ideas simply reinforce the concept that homosexuality requires a certain attitude, dress, manner and culture that is divorced from love, and has more to do with what one wears, rather than human relationships.

However, the same critique that America is focused on commercialism rather than upon real relationships could be made to straight relationships as well. Tolerance and accommodating gay relationships into American institutions like domestic partnerships, mutually shared benefits, and growing acceptance in the media is certainly a positive step forward. But it remains unclear how long it will be, before the insult of "homo" is no longer flung on children's playgrounds, and 'coming out' is no longer regarded as a brave step, but merely part of a natural part of a particular individual's adolescent journey of sexuality. So long as being gay is seen as a negative category of identity, regardless of the legal protections extended to gay Americans and the tolerance shown to gay people, homosexuality will be regarded as an issue of personal and public debate, not something that is merely part of an individual's personal life.